This morning I received a letter from Lisa Dixon, Scarborough Borough Council Director of Legal & Democratic Services which is straight out of Back To The Future.

For reasons known only to herself Lisa informed me:

“In a letter from Mr Bradley, Director, dated 31 January 2021 you were supplied with a copy of the Scarborough Borough Council Policy for dealing with ‘unreasonably persistent’ and ‘unreasonable’ complaint behaviour and asked to change your behaviour.”

As I received the letter at 10.07 on Monday 18 January 2021 how could I possibly have received a letter from Mr Bradley, Director, dated 31 January 2021?

It is clear that the letter from Lisa is unreasonable to everyone apart from a time traveller. I have no option but to take the rest of the letter with a pinch of salt.

For the avoidance of any doubt, I have informed Lisa that I have not received a letter from Mr Bradley, Director, dated 31 January 2021 as the ability to time travel is not a skill I possess.

I have requested Lisa to either advise where I can purchase a Lonely Planet Guide to Time Travel or explain her unreasonable behaviour to me.